I learned this from 1st hand experience. There was a time I would be me (be obvious, open, direct and without guile) with everybody. I believed their weaknesses or attitudes shouldn't make me redefine my standards. Simply put, nobody could make me pretend to be who I wasn't (I wouldn't complement you if I didn't mean it genuinely, I wouldn't hold idle conversations with you if I didn't think we were friends...) It was just d simple straight forward me...i had assumed it would make it easier to build real and lasting friendships( u know with everyone being as real with me as i was with them) until I found out its just not possible. I have discovered that we cannot hold people up on some standards just because said standards come to us naturally. You would be fooling yourself if u continue to expect people to treat u with d same regard that u treat them...so to help ur heart, I have learnt that u need to reserve the best part of you....your core...you need to create a 'Me-in-brief' version of you for the general public and reserve d real you until u find people that can handle it. Let them deal with d little of u they can see n perceive and leave 90% of yourself in reserve. Its not double standard, its wisdom...
Relationships are a lot like new investments. You start with little risks until you learn the ropes enough to increase ur risk assets,up d stakes in anticipation of d reward. U start small and grow into it only after ur need for security is assured. Start with a small 'dose' of urself, see how they handle it( u ll know people that will go far from how they handle relationships with people they perceive weak). That's why women of all ages have learnt that stooping is d way to conquer. Be a minor first and see how they respond(it takes time, they ll pretend for a while) before you 'cast ur pearls'.
Don't assume. Be deliberate!!! Not every smile is genuine. Not every gesture is real. Guard ur heart with all diligence ( this one is another sermon on its own...DILIGENCE!!!) Until u prove that they are guileless, remain reserved.
Don't go to any inconvenience for people until u are sure its not going to be taken for granted. Its not pride, its just you placing enough value on your person to know when to avoid being deflated. Value is rare, its expensive and uncommon.... You are rare and expensive so become uncommon...
The worth u place on ur person will determine the value others see in you.
Its called strategic value placement.
Don't become prudish or snobbish. Be nice n courteous... But reserve ur best.
Because people are people, imperfect as we come. Love others but preserve yourself.
You can be all nice to some and they will stab you in d back fair and square( more like unfair and round gaping gash in d back) so reserve your best so that cheap and unhealthy acquaintances don't drain you.
Define every friendship( discernment is key!!! Know those that are in your life for what reason and for which season)
Above all, do not be fooled by the environment that brought you together. I once heard an MOG say churches are for sick people ( character flaws, weaknesses...) That's why we come to church, we need Jesus!!! And you cannot be someone else' Jesus. Don't go crucifying yourself for peter because only Jesus could have forgiven a man that denied him thrice even at d verge of d ultimate sacrifice of his life.
You know people have weaknesses ( don't be fooled by d show they put up), love them but don't get spent up by people.
Be reserved!!! Be preserved!!!
That's d way to keep ur balance
There is specific wisdom required to deal with different people. Don't cast ur pearls before d swine
So make yourself this promise...
To love people and not judge them
But to love yourself enough to know who deserves access to your core!!!
Selah!!!
#neemahzramblings#
#thisOyindamadeandherMouthSef#
#defineYourValueinRelationships#
#reserveYourCore2preserveYourBalance#
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