From Pain to Compassion

Recently I had my back up against a brick wall  and found myself struggling in several areas of my life. As pressures mounted, I did what I am prone to do. I began to focus on how to change my circumstances. My brain began to be filled with ideas, plans and schemes designed to get me to a more comfortable place. And, as usually happens when I try to manipulate my circumstances, I came up short, got more frustrated and less content.

It seems to me most of us respond to the issues we face in very similar ways -- our focus becomes all about changing the circumstances that are troubling us, or telling off the people that has caused us pain. Even our prayer life can be all about asking God to fix something to make our lives more pleasant. But while we think our efforts to change our circumstances will make our lives better, the truth is we just end up exhausted and no more at peace than when we started.

Instead of working so hard to achieve a change in our circumstances, maybe what we need more is a change in our perspective.

Recently a friend defined wisdom, which God promises us if we ask for it (James 1:5), as a change from a human perspective to God's perspective. To have God's perspective on the difficult things in our lives would be to see those things through the lens of God's design, purpose and way. God never promises life will be easy, but his word says he works everything to good for those who love him. If we saw every negative situation in our lives as a means for God to work good in us, maybe we wouldn't focus so much on manipulating our circumstances to feel better. Maybe, instead, we would begin to see our issues, trials and struggles as opportunities for God to do something transformational in our lives. And maybe the prospect of God at work in our lives would change us at a level deeper than the surface issues that so often derail us, even when our circumstances never change.

The Bible often uses the imagery of gold being refined as a picture of what God does in our lives. Gold, when extracted from the earth, does not look like gold we find in a jewelry store. In fact, it is not always recognizable due to the impurities that mar its appearance. Yet, for the person searching for it, the ugliest lump of gold is of great value, and the potential for beauty is evident. We, as men and women, are similar to those lumps of unrefined gold. The sacrifice of God's son to reconcile us back to relationship with God shows just how much he values us -- even while we are lost and separated from him. God sees us not full of impurity, but full of potential. He, in the refining imagery, is the refiner and we are the lump of unrefined gold, full of impurity and full of potential beauty.

Sometimes we expect God simply zaps the junk out of our lives when we enter into relationship with him. But that is not the refining process -- not for gold, and not for us. God loves us too much to leave us as we are because our impure selves cannot reflect clearly all of who he is, and our fullest joy is realized in the growing brilliance of our reflection of him in our lives. The refining process is hot. To refine gold, heat must be applied to force the impurities to the surface. As the impurities rise, they are removed and more heat is applied. This process continues and continues, heat is applied and re-applied, until the gold is pure. The refiner knows the gold is pure when he looks into the gold and sees his clear reflection.

God works a similar process in us. Our lives are a process of God applying heat and exposing our weaknesses, our faults, our struggles and our impurities. Heat is hot and uncomfortable, but if we submit to the heat, we are day by day transformed into his likeness. The process ends when we meet Jesus face to face, and he looks into our faces and sees his clear reflection.

So often we seek to place blame on someone or something for the difficult issues in our lives. But things we attribute to evil may well be heat applied by the refiner of our souls -- heat full of purpose and heat that ultimately will result in purity and joy. Illness may be designed to bring fear to the surface so God can build trust. Financial difficulty may raise materialism to the surface. Loneliness may raise idolatry to the surface. Relational struggles may raise bitterness or unforgiveness to the surface. Disappointment at work may raise pride to the surface. The heat and trials of our lives are not evidence God is cruel or has left you, but ultimately are evidence of how much God values you and his desire for you to be all he designed you to be. He values us as he finds us but he loves us too much to leave us as he finds us.

When life gets hot and difficult, human tendency is to run from the heat. When a molten substance is removed from the heat, it hardens. When we run from the heat, our lives and hearts harden, our impurities set and we simply stagnate.

The heat that softens the hardness of our hearts may hurt, but that pain is a sign of life. It is God's way of refining us, making us more valuable, more compassionate. God tells us in Hebrews 12 it will seem difficult for the moment, but it always yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

If most of us were honest, we would trade much in our life for a sense of true peace. Peace does not primarily mean we have peaceful circumstances. Peace is realizing God is in control of all of the pieces of our lives, and even the difficult pieces have an important place in the bigger picture of God's plan for us. It is in peace we find rest. There is joy -- and peace -- and rest -- in the refining process.

As God changes our perspective, we will begin to see less of what is wrong and more of what evidences God's refining work in your life -- God bringing weaknesses to the surface so you ultimately will be stronger, more aware of your emotions and that of others, more like him and more reflective of him.

God's plan is not to make us more independent or more self-sufficient. His plan is to make us dependent servants of the refiner who desires to give us lives far beyond what we ever could imagine. In the heat, we see His power displayed and we become vessels for his glory and reflectors of his image to the world -- and that is a life worth living, no matter our circumstances!

Pain should train compassion into us. If the pain made you bitter, you lost.
Engage the pain with Gods love and you'd be good...more than that - You'd win.
Gods love never fails

The offence was a decoy, the real target is the heart- to dislodge Gods word and love from it.

The pain was a smokescreen to make way for the actual assault

Now you know the enemy. Stop fighting the pain, the people, the situation...and start guarding your heart, the content of your character. Once the offense takes root so much that it changes you for the worse, you lost.

Isaiah 48:10
1st Peter 1: 7

What Lobsters Will Teach You About Failure

I actually wrote this around 1.48am

I woke up and I couldn't sleep again.

So, I decided to quickly check my Facebook wall to
see what is going on in the Mark 'Suckabag' (pun intended )world.

Lo and behold, I came across this interesting writeup
about lobsters from my friend, Ronald Nzimora

I read it and I decided that you ought to read it too

Ronald's "Lobster" article starts after the line below

============================

I once read a fascinating story about lobsters.

You know what lobsters are right?

Those giant crayfish-like looking sea "animals" people 
like to eat. 

How does anyone eat seafood? They give me an allergic 
reaction!

Anyway, so here's the story:

When waves roll and crash against the rocks, they will
carry with it tens of these lobsters and when the waves
roll back, the lobsters are left behind.

A lobster when left high and dry among the rocks, does 
not have the instinct and energy enough to work its way 
back to the sea, so it waits for the sea to come to it 
and take it back.

Sometimes though the sea never comes back to roll over 
those rocks on which the lobsters are.

If the sea does not come, the lobster within a yard 
of the waves, remains where it is and dies.

Why would it do this? Why would it choose to die 
although it could have prevented it's own death if 
only it would make the slightest effort to reach 
the waves, that are just beyond those rocks?

Turns out this is a valuable lesson for you and 
I because, guess what?

The world is full of human lobsters.

People who sit and wait for permission to start 
living their best life. People who are waiting for 
the perfect time, the perfect conditions, the perfect 
tools, the perfect amount of money, before they get 
off their hiney and do something to change their 
station in life.

Men and women stranded on the rocks of indecision, 
self-doubt and procrastination, who, instead of 
putting forth their own energies, are waiting for 
some grand wind of good fortune to to blow them 
into the sea and set them afloat.

They are the people who are waiting to "hammer", 
waiting to be handed things, waiting for things 
to be done for them. So they wait and wait and 
wait, like Godot, forever, when they could simply 
have reached out and taken everything they could 
ever want.

I don't want this to be you. 

Please don't be a human lobster.

Have a great September.

Whose Benchmarks?; The Voice of Growth

I am too focused on my next move to worry about what everyone on earth is doing next.

I don't need to beat down who I was yesterday, or anyone else for that matter,  to grow.

I don't take advantage of the disadvantages of others.

I refuse to race against time, other women, or men.

I can only reach my next level, not anyone else's.

I compete with my own benchmarks,
My own comfort zones,
My own inner strength,
And my own voice.

These things, no one can take away
Except I give them away.

They are makeup my personal growth arsenal.

I am the voice of growth, the unbroken stride of purpose.

I mount with my feet holding fast to my milestones as I reach for my next level

I am the unstoppable voice of growth.

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currently listening to:
Tim McGraw's "Humble and Kind"

I hope this inspires you.

I AM NOT BROKEN

I AM NOT BROKEN

To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” ~Sven Goran Erikkson

Let me fix you.

You really should try not to be so sensitive, Neemah. The world is sometimes a difficult and upsetting place, but you shouldn’t let it affect you so much.

Let me fix you.

You know, you really ought to spend more time with people, Neemah. It’s not good for you to be alone so much.

Let me fix you.

You know, you really shouldn’t make such quick, spur-of-the-moment decisions, Neemah. It’s not good to do that in life and you’ll end up regretting them.

Let me fix you.

You’re so young, Neemah. You should be out dancing and dating and having fun, not sitting home alone with another book.

Let me fix you.

You need to be more realistic, Neemah. I know you have big dreams for your career and life, but it’s not secure. We all have to do work we don’t enjoy, it’s just the way things are.

Let me fix you.

Thank you for trying to fix me. Now let me tell you this…

Let me tell you…

My greatest strength is empathy. I feel others’ feelings as if they were my own. Their pain is my pain. Their joy is my joy. I cannot help but cry sometimes and I cannot hold the tears in when I'm alone, as you would like me to, nor wait for a more convenient moment.

Please don’t try to fix me. My sensitivity is my gift.

Let me tell you…

I am an introvert and a thinker. Introspection is in my blood. Long periods of time alone are a joy to me. Where others might feel lonely, I feel replenished.

I ponder, I reflect, and I muse over the thousands of dreams and ideas that are always in my head. I’m filtering, planning, connecting the dots and making sense of the world around me

Please don’t try to fix me. My thinking is my gift.

Let me tell you…

I am a woman of action and I do not like to wait. Once my mind is made up there is no turning back. Where others might be stuck in indecision, I have moved ten steps ahead. My life is in motion and I am creating in the real world the dreams I have in my head.

Please don’t try to fix me. My ability to act is my gift.

Let me tell you…

The future is beautiful to me. I see all that is possible and all that I want to create. In vivid colour and in high definition it appears to me. Whilst others see all that is wrong and the reasons why not, I see all that is right and all that could be.

Please don’t try to fix me. My dreaming is my gift.

You Are Not Broken

For the longest time, I thought I was broken. I thought I had to change myself. I thought I had to behave differently. I thought that my way of being wasn’t the way of being. I wished I were someone else.

At school my reports went like this:

“Neemah is a wonderful student but she’s too quiet and needs to speak up more in class.”

In my nine-to-five office jobs it went like this:

“Try not to be so sensitive, Neemah. It’s not good to let people see you loose your cool at work.”

And when I handed in my notice, it went like this:

“You can’t go through life making rash decisions like this, Neemah,”

And even now, almost three years into my journey of creating my dream life, it goes like this:

“We believe in you, Neemah, we really do, but don’t you think it’s time to look for a more secure job?”

Everyone, everywhere, throughout my life has been ready with advice for me on how I should be.

Over the years, not knowing any better, I tried to bend myself to their suggestions.

I tried to be less sensitive. I tried to hold my tongue in. I tried to be less impulsive and less impatient. I tried to spend more time around people. I tried to tame my dreams.

But when I tried to do all these things, all I felt was pain and it didn’t make anything in my life work better the way people told me it would.

Finally, thankfully, today, I see the truth.

There isn’t and never was anything to fix.

The very things that others told me were my faults turned out to be my greatest strengths and my most beautiful gifts.

When I finally saw and embraced them as such, I was able to begin creating a life that encapsulated everything that I am instead of constantly struggling and trying to be something that I was not.

It’s true for you too. There is nothing to fix.

If you find yourself surrounded by people telling you should or need to be different, I hope these three short notes will help you let go of what they’re telling you and to embrace instead what is truly special about you.

1. You are not broken, faulty, or defective.

There is no right or wrong way to be. Each and every one of us makes sense of the world differently. The way you are may be different to those around you, but that does not make your way of being wrong.

Instead of trying to bend yourself to their suggestions, take note of what the people around you say you should be like. There is a very good chance that they are pointing the way to your most special gifts and the things that make you uniquely you.

2. Use your unique gifts to create a life you love.

When you recognize, understand, and accept your personal strengths, you have the opportunity to consciously and thoughtfully craft a life that is in alignment with those strengths, instead of trying to squeeze yourself into a mould you won’t ever fit into.

I didn’t see it at the time, but the pain I experienced in my office jobs were clear signs that I wasn’t where I was meant to be. The roles I was in didn’t value my biggest strengths and work often felt like a battle against my very nature.

By seeing, understanding, and accepting my own personal strengths and gifts, I have been able to create a business and life that allows me to freely be all that I am. You can do the same.

3. Forgive those who try to fix you.

Remember that those who are telling you to be more like this or less like that—it’s not their fault. They, too, are filtering everything through their own set of unique gifts. Go easy on them; they’re just doing their best, like the rest of us.

Listen to what they have to say, take anything that feels useful but go ahead and drop the rest without a second thought.

Let me tell you this, my friend…

There is nothing to fix and nothing to change.

It is in those qualities that others might find difficult to accept that you will find your power.

It is in the acceptance of those qualities that you will have the opportunity to not only create a life that feels right for you, but to have the greatest positive impact on the people and world around you in this short and precious life.

You are a gift to the world. Just as you are.
You are not a broken piece.

Teachers, Humanity, Culture and Religion

1) WHY DOES THE SPIRIT-FILLED BELIEVER NEED TEACHERS?

2) WOULD WE EVER GET TO THE POINT ON THIS JOURNEY WHERE OUR HUMANITY, RELIGION AND CULTURE SEIZES TO BECOME A THORN IN THE GROWTH OF TRUE SPIRITUALITY?

if you have ever had to think on these things, trust me, you are in good company. All of us, regardless of our current levels of responsibility, have at one time or another, pondered on these questions.

I hope the piece you are about to read sheds some light on these questions and somehow points you in the right direction.

.......................................................................

There have been times when there seems to be some inconsistencies in the experience of being a Believer and being born again.  For one, we are told that we are born again by the Spirit of God (John 1:13, John 3:5-8), which means that we are new Spiritual creatures (2 Cor 5:17).  As such, we should have new traits and abilities, which we will discover and utilize as we mature.

Jesus also told us that we will be given the Spirit of Truth, which will TEACH us all things and lead us into all truth (John 14:26, John 16:13).  Then John taught that if we have this Spirit, we do not need anyone else to teach us…(1 John 2:27)

So, I have to ask, why is there such a need and dependency of teaching in Christianity?  Why are most of the Believers today reliant on ministration from other Believers (Pastors), and do not seem to have the ability to hear and learn from God themselves (John 10:27)?  Why did Paul feel the need to teach soooo much, people who supposedly also had the Spirit of God, even telling them – “we have the mind of Christ!” (1 Cor 2:16).  If you do, would you need someone else to point it out to you?  Or was that just an inspirational talk, reminding them of what they knew already, to encourage them to persevere?

I often get the impression that being born again is more of a mental exercise than it is a Spiritual rebirth or awakening (consider Rom 7:25).  There is a lot of resisting of one’s own will and flesh.  Paul also told the Roman Christians that they needed to be renewed in their minds, and not to conform to the world (Rom 12:2).  It makes you wonder, is Christianity really “mind over matter”?  Is that true spirituality?

The Corinthian Church had a lot of issues with sexual immorality and needed Paul’s counsel and teaching on this to know how to manage their relationships and desires for marriage (1 Cor 5, 1 Cor 6 and 1 Cor 7 notably).  And there was the bickering and division over circumcision and water baptism that Paul had to squash, warning the Christians in Galatia not to seek to be justified by the Jewish Law (Read Gal 3 and 1 Cor 1:10-18).

Now, if these people had all received the same Spirit of God, by which they are saved and born again, why were they still so carnal and so undiscerning of the truth?  Did Paul, Peter, James and John receive a greater dose of this Spirit?  Or are there stages to being a Christian?

We can see that though Peter and the other Apostles had learnt under Jesus for three good years, they only became SAVED, i.e. BORN AGAIN, when they received the Holy Spirit Baptism about forty days after His ascension to Heaven (Acts 2:1-4).  Before that, they were simply Disciples of and Believers in Jesus Christ.  Later, they and all who followed them and believed and lived like them were called ‘Christians’ (Acts 11:26).

“How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?  And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!” (Rom 10:14-15).

Jesus commanded His disciples to go into all the world making DISCIPLES of men, teaching them to obey all that He taught them (Matt 28:18-20).  This is also a charge for us who have been saved, to go and make disciples.  We preach and teach, they listen and receive us and God’s Spirit of Truth, and are saved and born again – by God’s Spirit Baptism (Acts 1:5).  Before they receive the Spirit, they are mere disciples, but when they have been baptized by God, they are born again Believers, empowered also to minister.

I think this is where the confusion lies…counting disciples and believers, not yet born again, among the Saved or Saints.  As James said, it is not simply about believing, because even the devils believe and shudder (Jam 2:19).  And so, perhaps, what we have in Christianity is too many people remaining disciples and not receiving the Spirit which empowers them to MAKE disciples of others.  They are perpetually being fed (Heb 5:12-14)!

Paul said concerning them that they are carnal and he cannot give them meat, because they cannot comprehend, because they still need and crave milk (1 Cor 3:1-3).  They need constantly to be put through the basic rudiments of the Faith, and cannot walk in power as the sons of God they ought to be, as those born of the Spirit of God.

But when the Spirit of God comes, so does enlightenment.  Paul was an example of this.  He talked about how when he was converted and received the Spirit of God, he didn’t go to the other Apostles to either learn of them or confer with them, but went to Damascus to preach the Gospel (Gal 1:15-18)!  But who taught him?  My guess is the Holy Spirit.

It was the same Holy Spirit that filled Stephen with wisdom and understanding, who was the first to be martryed for teaching the Jews about Jesus, and their forsaken covenant (Read Acts 7).  However, Cornelius and the Ethiopian Jew, who were preached to and taught by Peter and Philip respectively, are examples that preaching and teaching are essential for making disciples of men (Read Acts 10 and Acts 8:26-40), and they are also evidence that IT IS GOD WHO BAPTISES, and saves by His Spirit (Matt 3:11) – ours is just to preach (1 Cor 1:17-18).

Those who are not saved need us to preach the Gospel to them, and if necessary, teach and defend our belief (1 Pet 3:15, 2 Tim 4:2).  And when they believe, they become disciples, who need further training, until the Holy Spirit comes upon them and they are born again.  For Cornelius and his household, it was instant, and they needed only preaching, but for others it was not (Acts 8:16-17, Acts 19:2-6).

The Scriptures tell us that “if any man has not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of His” (Rom 8:9), yet many believers operating in carnality are counted among the Saved.  This, I do not understand.

People have come up with doctrines about how our Spirit man is saved, while our flesh is still drenched in sin, and thus, we will be resisting the flesh until we receive our heavenly bodies.  I believe this doctrine is drawn from Paul’s own teaching in Romans about the Law and Sin and Grace, and his own struggle with the flesh (Rom 5, Rom 6 and Rom 7 notably).  Paul who was enlightened and experienced in these things was able to understand and teach others, who may also have had the Spirit, but were not yet able to grasp how they could still be prone to sin.  In this sense, I do appreciate that even having the Spirit of God ourselves, we can and should still learn from one another and grow in understanding of our spirituality.

Yet, this is different from teaching age-old born again Believers the basic principles of the Faith time and again.  God wants to be our Teacher and Minister, which is why He gave His Holy Spirit as our Comforter and Guide (Matt 23:8-11).  If we have the Holy Spirit, is it possible that we will turn to men again to teach us..?

I guess it is.  Since even with the presence of the Holy Spirit, great leaders, such as Peter and Paul have succumbed to sin (Gal 2:11-14).  So, disregarding the Spirit (for fear of being deluded or wrong) in order to follow men is a STRONG temptation and trap.  And it doesn’t help that there are FAR too many men, who are willing to replace the Holy Spirit in your life.  For them, as F. Remy Diederich pointed out in his book - Broken Trust, it is a need to validate their own gifting and ministry, rather than encouraging you to develop yours.

And I believe, this trap, this dependency, this “Man of God” syndrome, that results in those who have the Spirit of God living as though they do not, being reliant on others for revelation and direction, actually originated from the days of Peter, James, John and Paul.  It is a condition of humanity, religion and culture, a thorn in the growth of true spirituality, which requires that we be led by the Spirit of God (Rom 8:14).

Furthermore, in a climate of division, where false doctrines are creeping in, and disciples are being diverted away by false teachers, the need for those empowered by God’s Spirit to teach and Pastor cannot be undermined (2 Pet 2:1-3).  So, though it is true, as John said, that we do not need anyone to teach us, if we are able to discern the Spirit, we actually still need ABLE teachers and ministers to help us stay grounded (and this is also the reason we ought not to forsake fellowship with one another (Heb 10:24-25), in a climate of insincerity and rebellion.  It is also important for passing down GOOD tradition, from the elders to the novices (who are not allowed to take leadership roles lest they be taken by pride, due to their spiritual immaturity (1 Tim 3:6), that will preserve the true Faith against the tide of culture (Gal 1:8-9).

So, I guess I have answered my own question as to why those born of the Spirit of God would still need teachers of men.  Also, all babies need mothers and fathers to nurture them to grow, even spiritual babes.  Paul and Timothy had such a nurturing relationship, as Paul claimed to be Timothy’s father in the Lord (1 Tim 1:2).

However, sometimes (quite often, unfortunately), those who we rely on as parents end up overstepping their mark or abusing their authority in our lives (whether unintentionally or arrogantly).  This has resulted in a lot of malnourised, underdeveloped, abused and disillusioned children of God.  And this too, spiritual abuse, is a problem of humanity and religion that will not be done away with until we are rid of the flesh.

The key in navigating this risk and staying grounded is developing that personal link with God ourselves.  Jesus, though raised by Joseph and Mary, realised who He was at a very young age and developed His relationship with His true Father.  We must all do that, and no ‘Man of God’ can ever damage us or lead us astray, if we know who our Daddy is.  So, since we are all prone to be abusers or the abused, we must be careful to point everyone to the only infallible Minister – Jesus Christ, the Author and Finisher of our Faith (Heb 12:2).

I hope this helped, May God help us as we abide in the Vine. Have a fruitful week.

PS: I'm aware I have been a little inconsistent 😀 and I am working on that👌. Very soon, I'll be able to boast of publishing a minimum of one post every week.
Thank you for being a part of my world despite 💞

6 year old Tominsin asked a strange question

What's the difference between Earth and the World? I was asked by Tominsin, my nail technician's 6year old daughter.

Easy question, I thought. But I kept stuttering, looking for clear and direct answers. I tried, actually, but I kept using the words interchangeably.

Since right now
Humans only live
Here on Earth,
The two words mean
The same thing
I answered.

But as days passed, I found myself thinking on her question. I looked back at my life and discovered the two words to be vastly different. Earth is the planet we inhabit, yes, but the World is a unique plane of existence to each person. As we become regulars at hair and nail saloons, churches and fellowship centres, restaurants and coffee shops, hangout spots, grocery stores and neighborhood markets; as we plant roots, build connections, find love, and birth babies, the World quickly becomes Our World; mini colonies.

I have found that certain worlds can become as narrow as hallways; and these passages I walk through, the worlds I know, can begin to feel constrictive.

The truth is, I've outgrown many worlds on planet Earth, only to begin again. Earth provides the air we need to fill our lungs, but our Worlds give us every reason to breathe deep. We must be mindful not to take anything for granted on the exhale. We must be stewards of the Worlds we inevitably build around ourselves.

So when next I find myself sitting next to Tomi who would always scoot over to my side of the table as her mom does my manicure, I would find the words, to make clear to her six-year old brain, the difference between the planet and her world. I hope to plant some seeds in her young mind on the laws of personal responsibility, accountability, association and consequence.

I recall such wise words like:
He who walks with the wise shall be wise.
Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are.
Scriptures like Psalms 1 and the likes.
Her young mind should be able to chew on these ones atleast.

Unapologetically Authentic

“Life is too short to be constantly worried about who's approving and who's not approving of what you do. Chances are that those who are too worried about what you're doing with your life are the same people that are insecure about their’s.”

Seemingly, people are always going to be bothered about what you did or did not do. Either way, someone is always going to be unhappy or overly unsatisfied.

However, the beautiful thing about life is that once you start living the life you're meant to live, unapologetically, positively, beautifully, and freely, you create a version of yourself never imagined before.

That is probably the most freeing thing you could possibly ever experience.

Don't get me wrong, it's not going to be easy. You're only human.

As a human being, you're going to feel things.

But just remember that you don't have to give someone else the satisfaction of controlling your life.

You're in charge.

I'm not saying to go out and be crazy and call for unnecessary attention. I'm just saying that if you constantly feel like you're censoring yourself and not fully committing to an authentic life because of other people's opinions, then perhaps it’s time to change.

Eliminate those that stifle you, strive to be around positive people that support you, and be unapologetically yourself.

I guarantee you that your life will not be the same.